FREE.CHURCH - FREE CHURCH OAK PARK
FREE.CHURCH - FREE CHURCH OAK PARK
I Declare: I Will Take Responsibility // Pastor Chuck Colegrove // January 12, 2025
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Listen, I'm ready to preach God's word. Are you ready to receive it? Today the year was 1981. I was just a lad, as they say, young, young, little kid running the streets of Grand Rapids, michigan. And when I say running the streets, it was just my little neighborhood, about four streets, that we would all hang out with a group of friends that we had gone to school with since kindergarten, and we all were pretty active, and so there were all kind of games. It was wiffle ball, baseball, football, basketball, kickball, kick the can, whatever, whatever any game. That, because, unlike this generation that has a phone and a game system, we had nothing. We had to make up our own stuff.
Speaker 1:So our mom would kick us out of the house after our homework was done and say Don't come back. Don't come back until you hear the whistle. And my dad would whistle and that meant dinner was ready, and no matter where you were at when dad whistled, if you were rounding third base, about to score the winning run, you would just round third base and run straight to your house because you didn't want, you couldn't be, you don't want it. When the whistle happens, you better get home. And uh. So one day we were playing at my friend's house and we moved to the backyard to play kickball and, uh, I don't know, for some reason somebody rolled it like in the wrong direction and I decided to be funny. I was going to kick it over the house but instead I kicked it right through the big the window and as soon as it happened, everybody was like they froze and I pretended that I heard the whistle and I ran and I ran straight home and I got inside and went upstairs and in our little house we had upstairs a little closet that you could hide in, and so I just went and sat in that closet and I was shaking, thinking what am I? Oh, my god, I'm in big trouble, but maybe nobody will know it if I just stay here. So I stayed in that little closet and then I heard the doorbell ring and my mom called up and I'm not going to say how she called me up, because then you might call me that. So she called me up and I went downstairs and I stood there and the parent was like I just want to know what happened. I was like, well, I was trying to kick the ball over the house. The ball went through the house, but it's really because Tommy rolled the ball in a weird way. I don't know, but if Tommy wouldn't have rolled it I would have never kicked it. And she said but you did. That parent was like you did kick it. And I said, yes, ma'am, and my mom was like Chuck. And I was like and my mom went to say like whatever we have to do to fix the window, we'll do that. And the mom was like I just wanted to know you did it and for you to say it and you don't have to worry about it, we'll get it fixed. But I just wanted you to say you did it. And then she turned around and left and I was like, wow, it was really stinky running away and getting caught and having her come visit my house. But it was her coming to the house and saying that was a lot better than sitting in that closet wondering how much trouble I was going to be in.
Speaker 1:It's the year I learned taking responsibility isn't fun, but it is mandatory. Why don't you tell your neighbor and say I declare. And then to the one you've been ignoring all service, bump them and just say I'm on my way to my best Sunday, yet it's good. We're in week two of our series, I Declare Last week we made a declaration together as we moved from this idea of wish and want, and even just hoping for something to change, into actually the action of change, and I think we have it on our notes, pull it up and let's say you don't have to say it with me, but remember last year we said this year, with God's help and the power of the Holy Spirit, I declare I will be a person of consistency, because transformation happens when I do consistently what others do occasionally. And I really need to pause and just say I want to give you props, for those of you that are taking new small steps in your journey of following Jesus, to be more consistent in your Bible reading, to fast with us. Maybe this is your first season of fasting.
Speaker 1:Somebody came up to me last week and said I'm I'm giving up things in this fast, even things that I've been addicted to, and I just want to stand and give you props and know you're not alone. We're praying for you in this journey, we're standing with you in this journey. We're going to be here for you and you're going to make it, one step at a time, be consistent. So that was last week. This week is a little different and, as Pastor Matthew would say, this one might be tough. Did I get it A little bit tough? I'm close right. I don't know why I'm doing this. It's to get my voice to move up, because I'm not quite as cool as PM.
Speaker 1:But this one's going to be a little different and I'm just going to give it to you straight off the bat this year, with God's help and the power of the Holy Spirit, I declare I will take responsibility for my life. Never again will I blame someone else for where I am the buck stops here, someone else for where I am. The buck stops here. I heard you. I heard you say why? Why is it so tough to take responsibility? Because because, honestly, collectively, we could all just say it's because Tommy rolled the ball a certain way. It's never our fault we live in an oops, I did it again, but it's never our fault world. And I was thinking you know, like? These are the things that I've heard over the years. Well, they lied. She know, like these are the things that I've heard over the years. Well, they lied. She cheated. He's distant, no one could ever work for that boss. And then here's the big one. Why did God let this happen to me?
Speaker 1:And so we're in this space of culture that just says, actually, let's cast the blame, let's play the blame game. And it's not just culture, even the dogs are in it. I think we have a little video. I don't know how good the audio is going to be, but check this little video out. I will give you the opportunity to do the right thing. I know it's going to take some time, but think about it. Think about doing the right thing, guys. So now I ask you, who took the cookie off the counter? Even the dogs are in the blame game. Even the dogs are in the blame game. But if you watch the video again, you could see, you would be able to see, you know who's guilty. It's in the eyes. It's in the eyes. The other one's like what are we here for? What are we here for? The one in the eyes little squinty eyes, scheming, scheming, scheming. It's all of culture that plays the blame game. But it's not just current culture.
Speaker 1:We can look back at Bible culture, bible history, and listen. God created us to be responsible. Look at this Genesis 127. Catch up with me in the notes Genesis 127. So God created mankind in his own image. It wasn't enough just to say it once, we got to say it again In the image of God. He created them All. Right frame that for a second Circle. That remember that. We're gonna come back to that. Watch In verse 28, in the message it says this and God blessed them and said prosper, woo, reproduce guys.
Speaker 1:Woo. Nothing, guys, man. That's the weakest bunch of guys in the room. I don't love kids, I love my wife. God says prosper, reproduce, fill the earth, take charge, be responsible. And that was that's what he told them. And in a world where God created his people to be responsible, guess how many rules there were? One, not 10, not 670, not New Testament, new two, no one, one.
Speaker 1:And that one was don't eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. And I'm gonna just give you the reference because you know it, it's all in your notes. If you got the notes today from Renee, it's there you can have the scripture reference. But you know God says don't eat from that tree. And what happens? Adam and Eve, they're like we got it. And then the enemy, the devil, falls from heaven and he gets in the form of a serpent and he tempts Eve with this challenge if you eat from this fruit, you will be like God. Hello Newsflash, we're made in his image. We're already like God. So that was the first lie that the enemy told. You don't have to have something to be like God. You are like God because you're made in his image. But that doesn't mean you only get what you get, because God gives you the direction to give it Reproduce, prosper, take charge, fill the earth, be responsible, don't eat from that tree. And so we know that they eat. They eat the fruit and God shows up and God's like hey, where are you? I'm here for my evening walk.
Speaker 1:The Bible says that God walked with Adam and Eve every evening. Imagine that kind of closeness. That's why 21 days of prayer is so important, because it gets us into the position of it's like we're walking with God every single day in the garden, having a conversation, and he wants to give us some instruction and give us words of wisdom and and help us when we need to have spaces where we take charge and fill the earth and prosper and reproduce and be responsible. And so god says where are you? And and we know the story adam and eve were hiding. And. And they're hiding.
Speaker 1:And God says well, why are you hiding? And this is what Adam says. He says, well, we were afraid because we noticed we were unclothed. What had happened is the veil of the holiness of God had disappeared from their life. And God said well, how did you know that veil was gone? Did you eat from the fruit, did you? And Adam's like well, god, look at this, you gave me the woman. If you wouldn't have given me that woman, I would have never ate that fruit. The woman If you wouldn't have given me that woman, I would have never ate that fruit. And you know what else, god, she gave me the fruit. I want to say, like Adam, be a man, stand up and be responsible, stand up, and you could have stopped that situation by being the leader of your house. But he's like no, god, you gave me. And then no, she gave me. And then so God looks at Eve and he says what about it? And you know what Eve says it was the devil. The devil made me do it.
Speaker 1:And look at the direction that we cast our blame when we play this game, the direction that we cast. It goes in three areas we blame God, we blame others or we blame the devil. It's never our fault. We cannot be people that skirt the responsibility and get involved in the blame game. We need to take responsibility, and I would let you know that this is the situation, because I want to get to my notes and say this the right way when we play the blame game, we can't make peace with our past or move forward to a better future. Oh, you'll move to your future, but it cannot be a better future as long as you blame others around you for where you are at in your life. So, if there's an area in your life that you're stuck in during these 21 days, if you can mantle the strength to take responsibility, you'll begin to move forward, and this is what I remember. They taught this when we were kids. When you point the blame at someone, you're sending one finger of blame at them, but look, you're pointing three back at yourself, and that's where we need to lean in. So are you tracking with me? Let's keep moving. So the first point I want to help you take responsibility in the next few minutes.
Speaker 1:I have Number one blame is the basket that carries your issue into your future. Blame is the basket that carries your issues into your future. Blame is the basket that carries your issues into your future, and what happens is is we began to carry this issue around with us. We refuse to deal with it and we want everybody to know that we have issues. Why else would we carry it? So we're blaming others and we have this laundry basket of issues and dirty laundry that we air out and we're like well, let me just tell you, this was, this, was so and so, and this all came because of so and so. And they might say, well, well, what about what about that moment? There he's like, yeah, that, no, that's not important. It's that, that was me, but that's not important. This is, this is the one right here. And we, just we, we do that in everything. We're like if you only knew what so-and-so did, and all of these, all of these, all of this is because of what they, whatever they said, and I just, yeah, but what about that little spot? Yeah, no, don't worry about that, let's focus on what they did. And we carry our dirty laundry with us and it prevents us from moving into our future. And we're so focused and here's what I know because we're casting blame. That also means we're pointing the finger at others instead of acknowledging hey, instead of looking at everybody else's dirty laundry, what have we started? To handle and do our own laundry? That's why, moms, you need to teach your teenage sons to do their laundry now, so they know how to do it.
Speaker 1:It's easy. It's easy to cast blame and carry shame, and, and you know what, when it comes to sin in our life, you know we, we can cast blame and and what happens is we begin to carry the shame. Why? Because sin is what you do, guilt is what you feel and shame is what you do. Guilt is what you feel and shame is what you carry. And look at this. This is why it's easy. It's easy to cast blame and carry shame, although it's not biblical.
Speaker 1:It's easy to focus on someone else's issues than take responsibility for your life. Look what Jesus said Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Come on, let's take responsibility. Let's get our laundry and get it done. When you ignore your issues, you end up carrying those same things into that next relationship, into that next job, into that next budget hey, into that next job, into that next budget, hey, into that next church. You just carry the same thing because you refuse to deal with it. And I'm going to tell you like the names and the faces may change for you in those new places, but the issue remains the same. You got to deal with it before you can move forward to a better future.
Speaker 1:Late in the 1800s, early 1900s in Europe, all throughout Europe, there was a spread of a disease and it was called the perpetual fever and others named it the black death of childhood. And what would happen is, during childbirth, mothers within a 48 hour time period, and about 70 to 80 percent of moms after delivering their children, they would get this high fever and this disease, and 70 to 80 percent of them would die within just a few days. And so everybody was perplexed. They moved all through Europe, even over to America, and the doctors were like well, we need to see what's going on. And they were like we can't figure it out, we don't know, we don't know. And there was one doctor, um, mr holmes, dr holmes who said um, I think I understand what it is, it's, it's, it's the doctors, it's us, it's our responsibility. And all the other doctors were like no, it might be you, it's not us, we're the doctors, we've got the training. And he said, said no, listen. He said this is what I've been noticing is in the morning, you're performing autopsies and then in the afternoon, in the same room, without sanitizing the room and without washing your hands, you're performing childbirth, you're delivering children, and if we would change our practice, we would end that disease. And for 30 years, 30 years, doctors were like that's not on us, there's no way this thing is on us. And as soon as they changed the practice to sanitize, to wash their hands, the disease ended.
Speaker 1:The lesson in this story is this the lesson is this Sometimes we are the problem and we don't want to admit it. Like we are the problem, but we don't want to admit it. And I'm going to tell you church, for this to be your best year ever this is the second Sunday of your best year ever you're gonna have to learn to take responsibility for the place that you're at right now in your life, in every area. So blame is the basket you carry. And number two blame forfeits your power to change. As long as I cast blame, I cannot change, because what I'm saying is I can only change if they change. As soon as they change, then I'll change and we even get into the position of like God, will you change them? Help them change. And God is like listen, I'll work on them, but take responsibility for where you're at and you change. It is the beginning. That I can't change until they change is the beginning of the victim mentality. It's not on me, it's everybody else. As soon as everybody else changes, I'll do better. I'll change.
Speaker 1:Dr Edith Edgar. She was a Holocaust survivor and a psychologist. She said this we become our own jailers when we choose the confines of the victim's mind. She goes on to say in my experience, victims ask why me? And survivors ask what now? This is how Jesus said it. Jesus said I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace In this world. You will have trouble, but take, take heart. I have overcome the world. Jesus was telling us. There's going to be things. There's going to be things that you face. Trouble is coming your way and it's coming your way. But take heart because I've already overcome the world. He's already accomplished the victory for you and you don't have to be a victim. You can be an overcomer, but you can't sit in the world of why me. You have to move into the world of what now? What now? So let's move into that phase, that what now? Stage. Get away from the blame game. When you take responsibility for your life, you have the power to change your future.
Speaker 1:I want to ask you two questions today. I want to ask you two questions because I think it's important for us to work our way through this. And the first question is this who are you blaming? Who are you blaming? Can I just stop for a minute and just say I know in a room this size there's probably some of you that have dealt with as a child, physical, some of you that have dealt with as a child physical, mental, vocal abuse and especially physical abuse. And I would say as a child. Can I just tell you that was never your fault. You had nothing. There was nothing you did to warrant that terrible act on you. There was nothing you did to warrant that terrible act on you. You have no responsibility for what was done to you. But you want to know where you have responsibility, to be able to move forward, take responsibility, to take a step forward and say what now, instead of sitting in a space of why me? What about some of you others? Who are you blaming? I mean, when you get right down to it, you could say, well, my parents told me not to go after that girl. Or my pastor said don't go into that situation. Or my small group said that's not the place for you to go hang out. Who are you blaming?
Speaker 1:The second question is this what area of your life do you need to take responsibility in and declare that from this day forward, you're going to move forward, no longer playing the blame game, but taking responsibility and thank the Lord, moving into a what now position in your life? Maybe let me just tell you, maybe you need counseling and not pastoral counsel. I'm happy to sit with you and counsel with you, but I got about this much experience Well, I got 30 years of doing it as a pastor. But I think sometimes in the church world we feel like we can't go to a counselor because, well, I mean, I need a spiritual advisor and you can find a spiritual counselor, a Christian counseling service. In fact, if you need counseling, will you email me? It's the easiest email in the world, chuck at freechurch. Email me and I'll send you a list of people that could counsel you. It's so important that could counsel you. It's so important In the worst years of our life.
Speaker 1:Well, I'll share one year in particular. It was a year that the whole world seemed to be turning against us and I found myself struggling in a space of am I a good leader? Is it me? Am I like, am I doing the right thing? And and I was like I don't even know what what's happening. I don't even know where to turn. And one of my friends, out of the blue, called me and said hey, you know I've been using this counselor. Maybe you want to call him and I think it'd be good for you. I feel like it was the Holy Spirit that set that message up to me and I reached out and I called him in the first session. On the phone he was like tell me what's going on. And I was like I'm just going to share just a little bit. I don't want to go too deep in the first session. I like leave some for the next one. Right, it's like I got a lot, so let me just start here the easy stuff.
Speaker 1:And the whole time, as I was starting, I was thinking of all of the people that were to blame for where I was at. People did this, people said this, people acted like this. And I started talking and telling what was happening. I got to a spot where I paused and he just said Chuck, let me just tell you, you're not the only person that feels like this, chuck, let me just tell you, you're not the only person that feels like this. But let me ask you, what are you doing to move out of this space? What are you going to do to move forward? And he's like I'm going to give you three things. And he gave me a book to read, he gave me some steps to take and he gave me like a handful of little bits and pieces that I could just kind of work out on my own for a little bit, until the next session. And I was like okay, all right, and the whole time I was like this and I hit that. I was going to say I hung up the phone but you don't hang up phones anymore. I hit the end call button. All of a sudden I just it was shocking Gushing tears. I walked into the kitchen where Shana was and she's like yeah, it was okay, but something happened in that time of working with with him and and it was this it was.
Speaker 1:I learned that that I there's no way I would ever get out of that space in my mind of questioning myself of, of all of that, until I quit blaming the people that were around me. I just had to take responsibility. Here's where we're at. There are some things out of my control, but this is in my control and what's in my control I'm gonna make decisions on and move forward, and that is the space for us to close this service on.
Speaker 1:So I wanna, I wanna, I wanna ask you to make this declaration let's move together, let's move forward. We're not on our own. I'm going to pull this up on the screen and I want us. If you're ready, maybe just take a minute, close your eyes, let the Holy Spirit. If you're ready, maybe just take a minute, close your eyes, let the Holy Spirit lead you for a second Commune with you Talk to you. Who are you blaming? What area do you need to take responsibility in?
Speaker 1:And I want you to feel the Holy Spirit doing this. This is what the Bible says in the book of Isaiah when the storm comes in like a flood, the Holy Spirit will raise up a standard for your life and I want you to feel that standard being lifted in your spirit right now. That's the Holy Spirit. You're like, well, I don't really feel something, but I'm gonna tell you it's happening right now. If you receive this power of the Holy Spirit to raise a standard in your life, to help you take responsibility, and if you're ready, I want you to open your eyes and look to the screens and I want you to say this with me Are? I want you to open your eyes and look to the screens and I want you to say this with me Are you ready? Here we go this year. With God's help and the power of the Holy Spirit, I declare I will take responsibility for my life. Never again will I blame someone else for where I am. The buck stops with me. Amen. Can you receive that word today?