FREE.CHURCH - FREE CHURCH OAK PARK
FREE.CHURCH - FREE CHURCH OAK PARK
The Power is in Your Pattern // Jeremy Foster // November 10th, 2024
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Come on, let's give it up for Jesus right now. How about that? What an honor. And I will tell you this In case you don't know, you'll find it out more and more. I love your pastor. You guys have phenomenal pastors, do you love Pastor Chuck and Hirsch? What a.
Speaker 1:And one of the things that I love about your pastors is and, by the way, thank you guys for being here you look good. Turn to your neighbor and tell them you look good. Now turn to your second choice and say you look okay too. Oh boy, hopefully your wife was your first choice, guys. Hopefully it is an honor to be here with you guys. And I'll tell you one of the things that I love the most. And, by the way, we had fun at the Next Level Leadership Seminar on Friday. That was a blast. And I give honor to Noel I don't see you out here, I'm sure you're out here somewhere, but he did a phenomenal job. Give him a great big hand. Great job. I love it when members of a church can just step up into a position like that and just crush it. But one of the things that I love about your pastors both of them is they deeply love you. They talked about you all weekend behind your back and it was all good. But they're authentic. Now is it okay if I'm just me? Okay good, because it's really hard for me to be somebody else. And one of the things that I love about Pastor Chuck is my very first time to meet him. The year was 2009. Come on, hey, you don't own that phrase, bro, I'm gonna start using that. The year was I see you still use it. I like it 2009,.
Speaker 1:We moved to Houston and came on staff at Grace, where your senior pastor was the lead pastor at that church, and I will tell you this, he had it made. He could have stayed there, but he felt a calling to Chicago and aren't you grateful that he felt a calling to the Oak Park area and wanted to come and give his life. But one of the things that I love about both of you guys is they're authentic. You ever I don't know how churchy y'all are, but I grew up churchy, okay, I grew up around churchy, churchy people. And have you ever met a pastor and he was like normal? And then he got on stage and his voice changed Like out in the lobby. He was like, hey, how you doing Good to see you and then when he came on stage he was like hallelujah, god's going to do great things today. God is good all the time and all the time. God is good. That's right. He doesn't answer email. He answers an email. Come on, somebody. It's just. I love you for being authentic man and and I'm I'm so grateful for Pastor Chuck and Urs they're just good friends. And Ethan and Elliot, evan and Eli these dudes have grown up. The last time I saw them I don't want to embarrass you guys, but they were like little chubby, little cherubs with long hair running around. And I see them now. They're strong men of God and both of them could beat me up. So I'm going to say really nice things. You're handsome and all that.
Speaker 1:It is my honor to be here and I want to tell you this I want to start with this and it'll make more sense as I go along today I'm not here as a pastor, although I pastor the church. I'm not here as a preacher, although I've preached. I'm a businessman and today I'm coming to you as a sinner saved by grace. Aren't you grateful for the grace and the mercy of a holy God? It's a game changer and I'll start with Romans, chapter 12. Romans, chapter 12, verse 2, says Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then everybody say then mind. Then everybody say then, then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, his good, pleasing and perfect will. Here's what I want you to get today and I'm going to talk to you on this topic. If I was to title this, it would be the power is in your pattern. The power is in your pattern Because, according to this scripture, there is a pattern that the world has and we're not supposed to conform to that pattern. We're supposed to be transformed by the renewing of our mind. The challenge is, we all have a pattern. You have a pattern and I have a pattern.
Speaker 1:How many of you guys like Oreos? Anybody like Oreos? Raise your hand if you like. That's your normal. That's good. If you didn't raise your hand, god bless you. You're weird. It's fine. We love you.
Speaker 1:How many of you guys question how many of you guys can eat just one Oreo? Raise your hand. Raise your hand. Psychos, psychos. I'm playing. I don't, I'm playing. I don one, two, skip a few black out, eat them all. Do you remember whenever they were in a package that you had to open. You remember you had to open it and then somebody got a genius idea to just make it sticky and you could just now, you could just peel it back. And I don't peel it back and just grab one. I peel it back, stick it back, get some cold milk, because if you eat Oreos without cold milk, have you eaten Oreos at all or not? And then I eat them and they're theologically accurate. Pastor, they're in three rows Father, son, holy Spirit. These three are one. Got to keep that God head together. Baby, let's go. And I got this pattern from my father. My father has a pattern. Are we streaming this? I love you, dad. We cut this part out. My dad, this has been happening y'all.
Speaker 1:So my mom is a baker. She's a really good cook too, but she loves to bake and she bakes the most unbelievable pies, like pecan pie, chocolate pie, chocolate chest pie, and then y'all might not know what buttermilk pie is. Some of y'all know what buttermilk pie is. Then you know the goodness of the Lord. Others of y'all are like buttermilk. That sounds gross. I know it's like an oxymoron. It's like I don't want that and I'm like don't get that, you don't eat it because I'll eat your piece, it's that good.
Speaker 1:And my mom makes all these pies. She never makes just one pie, she always makes like three or four. And so she'll ask my dad, and, and he's 73, my mom's 74, and this has been happening. I'm 47, this has been happening for 47 years. Same conversation.
Speaker 1:My mom goes Mark, do you want a piece of pie? And they're good old southern people, we're from Louisiana, okay, we're from deep, deep south Louisiana. And and now I live in Houston, texas, transplanted, so it's all southern up in there. And she's like you want a piece of pie? And dad goes well, paula, I think, I just I think I want more than one. And dad says this Emily, you hear it, we hear it every time. I just want a sliver, I just want a sliver of each one. Sliver is supposed to mean a small slice. And my mother brings him a full-size slice of each pie and dad always looks at her and he goes Paula, this is too much, and he eats it all. That's the pattern.
Speaker 1:Now here's my question In our house, in our family, in our generations, do we have a pie problem or do we have a pattern problem? The problem is not the pie. The problem is the pattern. And when it comes to living for God and maybe you're brand new, maybe you've never been to free church before here's what I would tell you. You owe it to yourself to come back and hear one of the greatest communicators that you'll ever hear in Pastor Chuck Colgrove, and I'm grateful. But here's what I would tell you If you want to live your life for God, then you'll find out. We have promises. This book is filled with the promises of God and they are yes and amen, and every promise in the book is yours. But if you haven't received the promise yet, do I have a promise problem or do I have a pattern problem that might just be keeping me from the promises that God wants in my life? So here's what I would tell you Inspect the pattern before you blame the promise.
Speaker 1:Let's ask ourselves how is my life being lived right now? Because here's what we know. I'm a leadership consultant. I have a couple of businesses and that's what I do. I talk about leadership and systems and I tell people often consistency compounds. You can look at my life and want what I have.
Speaker 1:I work specifically with a guy named Dr John Maxwell. He's been a mentor for years. I was his. Yeah, if you know Dr Maxwell, he's amazing. I was his chief marketing officer for a couple of years and John had a guy come to him one time and he said I want to do what you do. And John said that's great, he's got a real deep voice. That's great. He said, but if you want to do what I do, then you have to do what I did. It's a pattern. Consistency compounds over time. And how? How do I change the pattern?
Speaker 1:The scripture clearly says be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Why? Because the enemy gets in your head. He always gets in your head. How many of you guys, when you were kids, you were scared of the dark. Anybody scared of the dark. When you were a kid, all of us were. We believed in monsters. We believed there was monsters under the bed. We believed there was monsters in the closet. I was scared as a kid.
Speaker 1:Now, gratefully, I was raised by a praying mother. How many of y'all had a praying mama? I'm talking like full on praying. My mama prayed for you everywhere. Okay, you meet my mom in Walmart. You're like can you pray for me? She's like right now, in the mighty name of that's my mother. My mother prays over everything. Last Thanksgiving we went to a grocery store. My mom's been doing this for years. We pull into the parking lot. My mother goes right now. In the name of Jesus, give us a good parking place. Three, three people backed out. They weren't even ready to leave. Like where are we going? I don't know, we just have to leave. I tried the same thing 45 minutes later. I'm still driving around like all right, god, you answered her prayer.
Speaker 1:But my mother used to pray for me at night. She would come in and she would. She would pray for me before I went to bed because she knew I was scared like six years old laying there. My mama would come in and pray and my mother would pray long like she would pray for me before I went to bed Because she knew I was scared Like six years old laying there. My mama would come in and pray and my mother would pray long Like she'd pray. Oh God. Her voice would quiver a little bit, oh God. She would pray for me and sometimes I would fall asleep while she was praying. It was usually really sweet prayers, but sometimes I would wake up and it was a scary prayer. My mama, my mom, would be praying like right now.
Speaker 1:God, I pray that you would use him to do great things. My mom got a little bit of hot in there. It's not actually a word, but it is powerful. I pray that you would use him to do great and mighty things. God, use him to help your people, lord, and if he's ever gonna walk away from you, god, if he's ever gonna walk away from your word, your will and your way, I pray that you take him.
Speaker 1:Right now I'm like mama, lady, I'm six, okay, gain a lot of sin. Yet I realized as I got older the monsters in my life were not under the bed, they weren't in the closet. The monsters were in my head. And that's what's happening to us today. The enemy has no new tricks Still kill, destroy. That's what he wants to do. He wants to steal your joy, your peace, your happiness.
Speaker 1:This is why 2 Corinthians tells us to take every thought captive and make it obedient to God. Make it obedient to God's word, and I can tell you this you cannot have a positive life with a negative mind. Aren't you grateful that we have pastors who are positive, who are excited, who believe great things for us. I'm grateful that you're teaching freeway today. If you've never met the pastor, you should go to the freeway class today and you meet the pastor and you learn how to onboard and get involved in the church.
Speaker 1:Why? Why is that important? Because I want to be transformed by the renewing of my mind and if I want to live a successful Christian life, I want to have a good marriage. If I want to have a good career, if I to have good kids, then what do I have to do? I have to repeatedly, consistently drive out the negative thoughts that the enemy places. You ever gotten stuck? You get stuck in a mindset. You get stuck on depression or fear or anxiety and everything you read heightens it and you're consistently worried. You know this is. You can actually prove. We don't even have to look at the scripture. We can always look at the scripture. We don't even have to look at the scripture to find out why this happens. It's actually science. You have in your brain a reticular activating system. It's true, I had to Google that. I ain't that smart and I had to read about it and I learned about it.
Speaker 1:How many of you guys can remember your very first phone number. Raise your hand. If you can remember your very first phone number, okay, on the count of three, say it out. One, two, three, go Now I'm just going to tell you you shouldn't have done that, and here's why. Not because you still have the same phone number, it's because you're old. I love y'all. But that was the deciding factor right there, because if you can still remember your phone number, that means you used to have a need to do that.
Speaker 1:All these young people they didn't say anything. They don't know any phone numbers. They know no phone numbers Because they have their cell phone, right? You remember, hey, how many of y'all remember real phones? Remember those real phones with the long phone line. You could walk through the house talking Like a 40, a 40-foot phone line and then it yank it out of your hand. You had to go back and get the phone. And those were the days you could really get mad and show your anger by hanging up the phone. Remember that there was no feeling like you're talking to somebody, like boy, don't play with me, bam. These guys, these kids nowadays, I love y'all. These kids nowadays they don't know how to get the anger out. You're mad on a cell phone. Nowadays they're like I'm done talking to you, I'm so sick of it. God bless them.
Speaker 1:The reason you can remember that stuff is the reticular activating system. It's also the reason why when you drive home from work, you get in your driveway. You don't even remember making decisions to get there. You ever had that happen, like you get somewhere and you're like I don't even remember, I don't remember anything. I was thinking about food the whole time. Now, this is good for you, unless you move. You ever moved, like in the same city, same area, moved to another house, and then one day you get off work and you find yourself in your old driveway. You're like I don't live here.
Speaker 1:Same thing is true in your mindset. God delivers you from one thing and you find yourself back in that old way of thinking. You find yourself back in that old habit and stuck in those old ways, and we have to be transformed because if we're not careful, we will give in. Listen to this list of fear and despair and sadness and anger and worry and insecurities and guilt and negative assumptions, and some of you are like check, check, check, check, check, got them all. There's good news you don't have to live that way. I love the Word of God. It sets us free from so much.
Speaker 1:Philippians 4 and 8 says and now, brothers, as I close this letter, let me say this one more thing to you Fix your thoughts. If you want to fix your thoughts, you've got to fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and dwell on the fine good things in others. This pretty much takes out all social media and news websites right there. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about. Well, how do I do that? That's really hard. The word also says don't worry about anything, but pray about everything. It's really hard to not worry about anything. It's hard to think on the fine good things. Verse 9 tells us how Keep putting into practice.
Speaker 1:Everybody say practice. Practice is a pattern. All that you learned, everybody say learned, all that you learned from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you. Isn't it unique that practice and peace go hand in hand? The more I practice the pattern of the word and the will of God, the more peace I will have in my life when everything's falling apart around me. How do I do that? I asked you to repeat that word learned for a reason, and I'm not that smart so I had to look it up. In the Greek, that word learned is menthano. It's where we get the root word methetes, which is the word for disciple, from so menthano I learned. Therefore I can become a disciple. And we get the word discipline from disciple. Methetes is also the root word for math, so no wonder it's hard to be a disciple, because it involves math and discipline and I don't know any of y'all who likes that.
Speaker 1:Anybody ever get disciplined as a kid? How many of y'all got spankings as a kid? Raise your hand. If you got spankings as a kid, you're lucky, you're mad about it, but you're in church today. I never got spankings, I got whoopings. That's a whole different thing, that's a whole. That's a whole.
Speaker 1:And my mother, my mother, you never saw it coming. Dad, you could see it come. Dad would just look at you and be like you'd be like, all right. He said we better get it together. Mom, you never knew one day you could say oh, whatever, mom, she's like. I know whatever. The next day you're like oh, whatever, she's like bam, don't ever say whatever to me. Boy, and my mother had. My mother, my dad, would say I'm going to give you three licks. That meant you're going to get hit three times with the belt and it was a leather belt too, and he would put it on you. But mom, she just hit you until she wasn't mad anymore. You know what I mean? I called it syllable spankings. I'm telling, telling you right now, if you don't like mama, that's 39 stripes of Jesus.
Speaker 1:These kids today I never thought I would say that these kids today that scream at their parents. You ever seen these kids scream at their parents? I heard about kids who did that. These parents, you know what I'm talking about? These parents who put their kids in timeout. You're going to go to timeout, little Johnny. I think it's great. I love it. I wish we would have had timeout. We didn't have timeout, we had time to knock you out. That's a whole different thing. I'm playing. Let me excuse me. Let me get back to the Word. Hebrews. Chapter 12 and 11 says no.
Speaker 1:Discipline seems pleasant at the time but painful later on. However, for those who have been trained by it, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace. This doesn't come natural to us. To discipline our minds, to discipline our thoughts. Listen, you can't run away from everybody you disagree with. You can't run away from every bad influence, but we can step right up into the middle of it and be transformed by the renewing of our minds and actually change the culture and change people that are around us through the God that's on the inside of us.
Speaker 1:There's two steps I'll give you for shifting the power of the pattern. Number one is you have to recognize the pattern. If you're taking notes, write that down. This is what I tell CEOs and presidents of companies all the time. 50% of solving the problem is clearly defining it. I have to clearly define what's really going on. It's important to properly diagnose the problem and oftentimes the problem is you. How many of you know you have issues? Raise your hand if you know you have issues. Those of you who are not raising your hand that's your issue are not raising your hand. That's your issue. You don't know you have issues. How do I recognize that I have challenges, that I have problems, that I have something going on in my mind? Well, I think it's really unique that your words reveal your heart. If you want to know what's happening in your mind, listen to what's coming out of your mouth.
Speaker 1:Jesus talks about this all the time in Matthew. Jesus is having a conversation with his disciples and they didn't understand something publicly that Jesus said. And so, by the way just a little side note many of us would have a hard time personally following Jesus 2,000 years ago because we think of him as sweet and kind and nice. But he was also ridiculous in some of his requests. What are we going to wear tomorrow? Don't worry about what you're going to wear. Where are we going to sleep? Don't worry about where you're going to sleep. But I got to go bury the dead. Let the dead bury the dead.
Speaker 1:Jesus was tough. When Simon Peter challenged him on his vision, he said get behind me, satan. I don't know about this, but thank God our pastor has never called you Satan, maybe behind your back, but not your face, jesus. Then Peter says to Jesus explain to us Matthew 15,. Explain to us the parable that says people aren't defiled by what they eat, because this is what they've been taught their whole lives. Verse 14,. Don't you understand yet? Jesus asked anything you eat passes through the stomach and then goes into the sewer. It's very, very graphic and direct, jesus, but the words you speak come from your heart. That's what defiles you. Matthew 12, 34,.
Speaker 1:I love this, for out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. What is he saying? Your mouth is a stethoscope to your heart. What's coming out of your mouth will tell us what's really in your heart. And words have power. I know you've heard your pastor say this before. Words create worlds. Words create worlds. Words are powerful. I'm going to show you this real quick. Okay, I'm going to ask you to close your eyes. Close your eyes for just a second. Everybody. Close your eyes. Now, if you brought your purse, hold on to it because we're in church, you don't know who's sitting next to you. Close your eyes for a second. I'm going to say something and you're going to see something when I say something. Nobody looking around. Okay, here we go. And we're going to say a few words. Okay, here we go. First word dog, okay. Second big dog, mean dog, okay. Open your eyes. Open your eyes, look at me.
Speaker 1:How many of you guys saw a dog? Raise your hand. If you saw a dog, raise your hand. You saw a dog, oh, that's awesome. How many of you saw the like letters D-O-G. Anybody see that? How many of you saw three different dogs. It was a dog and then it was a big dog, then it was a mean dog. How many of y'all saw the same dog? And it just morphed. It was like a dog and then it was big and then it was Anybody. That's something different. That's different. If you're new here, the real pastor will be back next week, okay guys, so just have no fear. What's amazing is we don't know each other. Well, we're just getting to know each other right now. But I said one thing and put a picture in your mind.
Speaker 1:Words have the ability to change your internal atmosphere. This is why we call this the Word eternal atmosphere. This is why we call this the word, and you need to get into the word of god as often as you can and get the word of god in you. Proverbs 18, 21 the tongue has the power of life and death. I told the the leaders on friday that jim rohan, business guru, said you will have the combined health, attitude and income of the five people you hang out with the most. Just look straight ahead. Some of you are like you're too poor for me. I got to hang out with better people. You'll have the combined health, attitude and income. That's why we're coming to an end with our small group season. But when our small group season kicks back off, you need to make sure you get in a group. Why? Because I need the right people around me speaking life into me. This is why you need to go through the freeway class. Today, you get an opportunity to go through the freeway class today. What does that do for me? It helps me get connected to the things I need to get connected to.
Speaker 1:Words can actually affect the plans of Jesus Christ. Mark, chapter 6,. Jesus left that part of the country and returned with his disciples to Nazareth, his hometown, and the next Sabbath he began teaching in the synagogue. Can you imagine if you'd heard about Jesus? You remember seeing Jesus, and Jesus shows up, he starts teaching and many who heard him were amazed. That was their first response. And then they started asking questions when did he get all this wisdom and the power to perform such miracles? Then they scoffed he's just a carpenter. The son of Mary and the brother of James and Joseph, and Judas and Simon and his sisters live right here with us. They were deeply offended. They manufactured offense at something they should have never been offended by. They're deeply offended and they refuse to believe in him. And because of their unbelief, because of their unbelief, because of their unbelief, he could not do any miracles among them except to place his hands on a few sick people and heal them. And he was amazed at their unbelief.
Speaker 1:I wonder what words are coming out of our mouth that are talking us out of what God's trying to walk us into. You want to know what your thoughts are. You want to know where your heart is. Listen to your words. I'm too tired, I'm not good enough, I'll never be able to. There's no way it will happen. And these all phrases become self-fulfilling prophecies before too long. I'm just so exhausted I'll never be okay.
Speaker 1:You know, I learned a great phrase that I still use to this day I'm alive, I'm awake and I feel great. And you know who I learned that from Pastor Chuck. Aren't you grateful that we have a pastor who speaks life-giving words? I'm alive, I'm awake and I feel great, and I remember you used to say it in the office when you didn't look alive or awake. Why? Because how I feel does not dictate what's on the inside of me. At some point I have to wake up and speak life.
Speaker 1:And finally, the second thing, and I'll close with this we have to replace the pattern. You have to replace the pattern. You have to replace the pattern. We have to change. If I want to get something different, I have to do something different. Sean, you can come and start playing a little bit. I want to encourage you today.
Speaker 1:Take the one-year challenge. Go all in with Free Church for one year and see what happens. I'm just kind of dipping my toe in the water. Go all in just for one year. Your life won't be perfect on the other side of it, but it'll be so much better than what it is right now. Why? Because when I serve, it changes who I am. When I give my life to help other people, it changes my perspective. It changes how I look at the world. I may not be able to get out of the situation that I am. When I give my life to help other people, it changes my perspective. It changes how I look at the world. I may not be able to get out of the situation that I'm in, but I can invite God into the situation with me and he can walk with me through it. When I'm serving other people, it changes how I look at myself and maybe it won't happen immediately.
Speaker 1:Sometimes God doesn't take you exactly where he wants you to go immediately. Sometimes you have to bounce between a few other places. If you fly very much, then you don't probably like to take connecting flights. I thank God that I was able to go directly from Houston to Chicago. Thank you, jesus, because there have been other times when I have come through Chicago to go somewhere else, and I love y'all, but I didn't want to come through Chicago. I wanted to go straight. But sometimes you have to go through other places and sometimes God will put you in a holding pattern.
Speaker 1:You ever been on a plane that was in a holding pattern? A few years ago I was on a plane and the captain came on and he said ladies and gentlemen actually he said, ladies and gentlemen, I don't know why they talk like that but he said. He said if you're a pilot, I love you. God bless you, he said. He said, ladies and gentlemen, we'll be landing in about 20 minutes. Sit back, relax. Flight attendants are going to prepare the cabin.
Speaker 1:And 20 minutes later we were still in the air above the clouds and I had a conference that I was going to speak at and I was like get the plane on the ground stuff to do my man. And then he came. Ladies and gentlemen, I know we're a little late. We are in a holding pattern right now. If you'll look out your left side window, you'll see a storm is directly above the airstrip where we are supposed to land. We're just going to wait for that to clear. And I was like, hey, you wait for that to clear Because I'd rather be Jeremy Foster late than the late Jeremy Foster. Come on, somebody. That was dumb. It was a holding pattern. Why I was ready but where I was going was not ready for me.
Speaker 1:And sometimes where you're going is ready but you aren't. Aren't you grateful that God will stay with you? Take you on a little roundabout path before he helps you land where you're supposed to land? Why are you talking about this? Why is this so critical? I'll tell you why this is so critical today. Because I'm gonna give you an opportunity right now. I'm gonna give you an opportunity to judge me. I hope we've had a good time today. I hope this has helped you today. But I'm going to be very open with you today.
Speaker 1:I said in the very beginning I'm not coming to you as a pastor. I'm not coming to you as a preacher. I'm coming to you as a businessman, a sinner saved by grace, because when you don't handle this stuff right, there are consequences, and this is the first time in three years that I have stood on a church stage on a Sunday. Love you, thank you and I'm grateful for your pastor loving me. When he invited me to speak at the business thing, that was fine. I was excited about that. I do that a lot. I do keynotes and coaching and all that. Then pastor said I want you to speak on Sunday. I said, man, are you sure?
Speaker 1:I pastored a church in Houston called Hope City. It started in 2015. And it quickly became one of the fastest growing churches in American history. By the end of the first year, we were seeing around 4,000 people come to church. First weekend we had over 1,200, never dropped below 1,000. It was unbelievable, the move of God. In the seven years that I was there, we saw 47,000 people give their lives to Jesus. Put 26, 27,000 of them through our discipleship program, gave more than 20 million to missions. It's unbelievable. By the end of the fifth year, we had 14,000 people coming on the weekend in five campuses.
Speaker 1:In 2019, I preached to 24,000 people on Easter, but I had a pattern problem and it's hard and embarrassing for me to confess to you. But if God can use it, then I hope it will help you. But I messed up. I didn't just have a moral failure. I had an affair and I'd love to tell you that it was a one-time thing. It wasn't. It was 14 months. I hid it, I was scared, I lied. I was trying to figure out how to get out. We had a $60 million building program and somehow I was thinking like, if I can just get the bank loan signed, then I can get out and not destroy everything for all these people. It ended a 21-year marriage. It devastated my ex-wife. It devastated my children.
Speaker 1:I'm nervous today. I'm nervous. I'm nervous today because they might be watching. I don't know if they are, but if they are, I love you. Thankfully, my girls, after a couple years, started talking to me again.
Speaker 1:When you love your kids, it's brutal. I don't know if I should be up here or not. That's why I told Pastor Chuck I cannot come as a pastor. I cannot come as a preacher. I can come as a businessman and share my testimony, share my story in hopes that it'll set somebody free. There are consequences to sin. There are consequences to bad patterns. I disqualified myself, I fired myself as pastor and I should have. But consequences do not negate grace and I'm so grateful for the grace of God and I'll never forget the night everything blew up. I had this and I've talked to pastors about it. I had this sheer terror but at the same time I had a feeling of relief because I'm not lying anymore. And I remember a guy called me because when you're in that kind of position, it's a very public failure.
Speaker 1:All kind of rumors swirl, crazy stuff gets said and I had a guy call me from my church and he said I have questions for you. I said, okay, he goes. I have 49 questions. I kind of laughed. I said, all right, he goes. No, I literally have 49 questions. He had heard 49 different rumors. I said, all right, anthony, go through them. And we went through every one of them. It's like no, no, no, yes, it was 14 months, I'm sorry. No, no, no, we get to the bottom. I mean, you wouldn't believe the stuff that was said. We get to the bottom of it and he goes look, man, like 98% of this stuff is not true. Why don't you do a video and come out and just tell the truth that all this stuff is a lot of lies? I said, well, anthony, I could do that, but at the end of the video I'd have to still say but in spite of some of these things that aren't true, I was still a lying, cheating, adulterer.
Speaker 1:You can either have grace or you can have a good defense, but you cannot have both, and I would encourage you today to fall on grace. Extreme ownership is the only way extreme honesty, confessing to somebody, confess your sins one to another that you might be healed. And I'll never forget sitting with my father in an IHOP till 4 30 in the morning, confessing everything, just all the horrible things that I'd hidden and lies that I told. My father looked at me and he said I've never loved you more and I've never been more proud of you than I am right now. I looked at my dad and I said how could you be proud of me, man? I've never loved you more and I've never been more proud of you than I am right now. I looked at my dad and I said how could you be proud of me, man? I've embarrassed our family. I've embarrassed you and mom.
Speaker 1:I was a fourth generation pastor. My dad's the greatest man I've ever known. He's a lot like your dad, was what a great example and I blew it all. And I blew it all and he said if I'm your earthly father and I can love you this much and forgive you and see a future for you, don't you think your heavenly father can see the same thing and love you through it all and believe in you through it all and see something on the other side of it? So this is what I will leave you with today. It's not over. No matter what you've been hiding, no matter what you've been lying about, no matter what you have told yourself, it's too much. There's no way God could ever forgive this. I am standing here telling you not only will he, he wants to and he has a future and a hope for you. Would you stand with me all across this room?